A turd in the punchbowl

While watching an episode of South Park last night a most amusing phrase was used to refer to a problem existing. "There's a turd in the punchbowl!" The subject was sex addiction. To name a few of the players; Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, David Letterman, Charlie Sheen. Included in the list was some of the kids we love; Butters, Stan and Kenny. If one of the character's spoke out about something that didn't reflect the recovery model that the group believed, a leader (Pres. Obama and Dr. Karnes*) spoke into a hidden microphone "There's a turd in the punchbowl". I wish I had recorded the episode. I'm sure I missed something else.

My thought process had a field day with the use of turd as an analogy. Prior to Dr. Oz we never wanted to talk about turds or anything to do with our evacuation system. Most of us have had a bout with a consistency problem at least once in our lives. It's simply a subject that we don't want to talk about or hear about. There seems to be something in my life which is a turd in the punchbowl. Every time I fish it out and flush it down the toilet it shows back up. It's another sign of undergrowth. It is being dishonest. I've been dishonest with myself and others. I'm told by the Great Sponsor that rigorous honesty must be part of my path. It must or I will never reach enlightenment. I will never really be free.

M. Scott Peck writes in The Road Less Traveled:
we must always hold truth, as we can determine it, to be more important, more vital to our self-interest than our comfort. Conversely, we must always consider our personal discomfort relatively unimportant, and indeed, even welcome it in the service of the search for truth... Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs.

Rigorous honesty is said to be one of the most important components to recovery, along with willingness and open mindedness. Honesty seems to be pressing against my consciousness because it is a topic that keeps coming up. What I hear from others and what I hear from my own mouth. Our secrets keep us shrouded in darkness and keeps those we love at bay. Never getting too close to us because we don't get any closer to ourselves. Maybe because we're really afraid to see who we are and allow others to see us. We think that opening this door will surely be the one to make us unlovable.

If I'm lying to others how can anyone trust that I'm not lying to them? This is a great lesson for me on my eightfold patch to enlightenment. This is the turd in my punchbowl.

Sex addiction kills Kenny in the South Park episode. Sex addiction can kill, as well as ruin someones life if not addressed. *Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. is a leader in the revelation and healing from sexual addiction.

This is dedicated to a very special friend who I love and have shared my turds with! Oh yea, and I'm smoking again.

Be Well
Jane